Sherry: Today, my friends, we are featuring amazing poems by two of Poets United's very first members, since way back in 2010: Carrie Van Horn, who blogs at A Net Full of Butterflies, and Susie Clevenger, of Confessions of a Laundry Goddess. We think they will both move and inspire you. Let's dive right in.
"Many of our fears are tissue-paper thin, and a single courageous
step would carry us through."
~Brendan Francis
I never could walk in the rain with the ease of a star or runway model
I am not that girl
the one that takes the dangerous path
barefoot in the middle of nowhere
unconcerned with what may come
I am the lady that arrives early
to the Dr.'s office
on the verge of sickness
with an umbrella
not because it is raining
but because it could
when I leave the building
my bag is full of every document
known to man I could need
and my mind is even fuller
with the thought of
driving back in the rain
control is a small beady eyed old man
and no one knows his name
or where he was last
I have been trying to track him down
ever since grade school
I tried Marco Polo
but he was never listening
the only thing I have had control over
is my bladder
until about 2016
now it seems I could just throw caution to the wind
since not much remains in my hands anyway
jewel thiefs have ransacked my marble collection
it seems i never had them contained from the beginning
life is full of paper cuts and land slides
and somewhere between band aids and mud boots
I lost sight of the difference between the two
uncertainty is a scary thing
especially when you are young
if you learn to fear and dread early
all perspective can get distorted
like the view through the wrong prescription glasses
all objects get blurry
everything becomes scary and uncertain
I am learning to change what I see
but this has proved to be a slow process
like road repair done by old nuns
still I try to make control my own ordained ministry
even though I am no minister
with time I have found
it is not what one acquires
that makes it clear
but more what one
learns in the process
of letting it go.
Sherry: I so wish I had written this poem. And I could have, for I am also the woman early at the doctor's office, in search of control in a world where very little can be controlled. I love the line about road repair done by old nuns, for my learning came slowly, too. LOVE the ending about learning to let it all go. You can't imagine how much that concept resonates for me today. Today's poems will, I hope, lift our spirits, and we need that these days.
Carrie: You have
made my day! I am delighted for you to feature this poem, and I am
so glad you like it. I wrote the poem specifically for a prompt and it
kind of metamorphosed on its own as I wrote it.
A wonderful lady that comes to a writing group I host at the library has been talking about identity, and one of the terms she used is "I am not that girl".....It resonated with me, and of course popped up in the poem as I wrote it. I started thinking about not just what I am in life, and what my struggles are, but also what I am not.
A wonderful lady that comes to a writing group I host at the library has been talking about identity, and one of the terms she used is "I am not that girl".....It resonated with me, and of course popped up in the poem as I wrote it. I started thinking about not just what I am in life, and what my struggles are, but also what I am not.
Having the need for control in my life from such an early
age has been a major struggle I have had to deal with, and the photo really led
me in that direction. Thank you so much for considering this poem.
I value your opinion greatly Sherry. You are such an amazing talent, and you
hold a great wisdom of life and what matters under your wing and within your
mighty pen.
And, yes, a
lift of spirits is in order. We all need it in these troubled times.
Sherry: While this feature was waiting to be posted, Carrie wrote another poem that knocked me out. I asked her if I might include it. This poem speaks of a recent tragic loss in Carrie's family.
IT IS WHAT IT IS
Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be. ~Grandma Moses
~Sometimes my eyes are cactus near a flowing stream~
Life is like a dusty chandelier and the dimmer the setting
the less you can see what can be done.
~Sometimes my lips are bankrupt in a solemn fortress~
Life is like a triple scoop ice cream cone
and if you do not eat it earnestly while you can
it will melt all over and leave a big mess
~Sometimes my heart feels like just a spoon of pepto in a world of disease~
Life is like a crystal vase upon a table
it is meant to be filled with beautiful flowers not be empty on a shelf.
~Sometimes my feet are red wood trees in a fast moving blaze~
Life is like a tall rocky mountain
it is majestic and an inspiration to stand before yet also an utter struggle to climb.
~Sometimes my hands are frail like bent limbs on a dying tree~
Life is like an unbridled horse
that runs free out of our control
yet still we try to tame it.
Carrie: As you know, I recently went through a devastating loss, and I had been thinking about life and all the struggles and loss we experience throughout our lives. The poem kind of grew from there. Thank you again, Sherry, for thinking of me.
Sherry: Thank you so much, Carrie. My condolences to you and your family on your very tragic loss. I resonate with your weariness so much. I hope you can take that beach walk soon.
When Susie wrote the following two poems, I knew I wanted to feature them. Let's take a look.
IT IS WHAT IT IS
Life is what we make it, always has been, always will be. ~Grandma Moses
~Sometimes my eyes are cactus near a flowing stream~
Life is like a dusty chandelier and the dimmer the setting
the less you can see what can be done.
~Sometimes my lips are bankrupt in a solemn fortress~
Life is like a triple scoop ice cream cone
and if you do not eat it earnestly while you can
it will melt all over and leave a big mess
~Sometimes my heart feels like just a spoon of pepto in a world of disease~
Life is like a crystal vase upon a table
it is meant to be filled with beautiful flowers not be empty on a shelf.
~Sometimes my feet are red wood trees in a fast moving blaze~
Life is like a tall rocky mountain
it is majestic and an inspiration to stand before yet also an utter struggle to climb.
~Sometimes my hands are frail like bent limbs on a dying tree~
Life is like an unbridled horse
that runs free out of our control
yet still we try to tame it.
[Note:
I have spent many years not seeing what I should, not relishing what I could, not being all I could be, and trying to control what was out of my hands. It seems some lessons do not come easy. Gaining wisdom has been like taming an unbridled horse. It is hard, and it is going to take some time. I suppose life is meant to be a process of learning and growth. If it were meant to be easy, it would be. I just feel a bit weary sometimes. I am a slow learner and I have the bunions to prove it. I am in need of a true vacation, maybe a trip to the beach to just walk the shore, count my blessings, and pick up some sea shells along the way. ]
Carrie: As you know, I recently went through a devastating loss, and I had been thinking about life and all the struggles and loss we experience throughout our lives. The poem kind of grew from there. Thank you again, Sherry, for thinking of me.
Sherry: Thank you so much, Carrie. My condolences to you and your family on your very tragic loss. I resonate with your weariness so much. I hope you can take that beach walk soon.
When Susie wrote the following two poems, I knew I wanted to feature them. Let's take a look.
In the valley of illness every stone bruises
as it presses into another unchanged hour
of breath bleeding closer to the tomb.
Have you ever watched your child suffer? I am.
Desperation collects its hand maids to birth despair,
tries to force me into the clotted womb of hopeless.
These are the times I must fly with broken wings,
fight melancholy’s gravity by on less tear,
and seek light in the coal night of uncertain.
My eyes must show tomorrow there will be sun
so the midnight of my child will know morning will come,
mortar my helpless into trust the sky won’t fall.
It is true. One never knows how strong the spirit can be
until there is no other option, no other view but hope,
no other words but... Don’t Give Up.
Dawn's bracelet, epitomizing the battle
she has fought for her health
Sherry: Susie, I know your family has just emerged from your daughter Dawn's health crisis. I applaud your mother lion heart, holding your child fast to the earth with the force of your will. A mother's strength, a family's love, and a daughter's courage has seen you through, no giving up. I am so thankful that Dawn has recovered.
Susie: "One Less Tear" came from the agony of watching my daughter, Dawn, fight through another health crisis. She has been on the battlefield for twenty-five years, but for us this has been one of the scariest.
She has had numerous surgeries, and lost her left kidney to cancer, but our family had never watched her suffer such extremes, losing over 25 pounds in six weeks, heart failure, kidney failure, agonizing pain, and so weak she couldn't stand. There were times all we could pray was for her not to give up.
Writing is healing therapy for me. There were many days I couldn't speak with my voice what I could speak through poetry. I needed to express the grief of watching my child suffer while being helpless to stop it. I needed to give myself permission to say I was terrified.
She has had numerous surgeries, and lost her left kidney to cancer, but our family had never watched her suffer such extremes, losing over 25 pounds in six weeks, heart failure, kidney failure, agonizing pain, and so weak she couldn't stand. There were times all we could pray was for her not to give up.
Writing is healing therapy for me. There were many days I couldn't speak with my voice what I could speak through poetry. I needed to express the grief of watching my child suffer while being helpless to stop it. I needed to give myself permission to say I was terrified.
Sherry: There is nothing more terrifying for a mother than seeing her child suffering. You are such a strong family, Susie. Soon after "One Less Tear", I read "Shaman Sunflower" with such appreciation. Your spirit is much like that sunflower's to me. When bodies are challenged, spirits rise.
Sunflowers ribbon their way
into my daydreams in subtle nods
to the yellow marble owning the sky.
Oh, to have such strength, bloom
when the eye is a desert void
of a single tear, and stand tall
in the withering.
Joy comes where happy can’t survive.
Dear blossom, you remind me even
the driest heart can drink light if it chooses.
Sherry: WOW, Susie! "The driest heart can drink light if it chooses." Yes, it can. My heart soared, when I read these words. Thank you. I love the whole idea of sunflower as shaman.
Susie: This poem came soon after I wrote "One Less Tear". I was spiritually and physically weak from watching my daughter suffer in her latest health battle, and one of my biggest comforts is nature, so I rflected on sunflowers I saw blooming in a garden I passed when returning home with Dawn after her latest hospital stay.
Sherry: I can imagine the joy and relief of that ride home with your precious daughter.
Susie: I've always loved sunflowers. The simple act of speaking their name opens me to hope and light. With all the heat we'd been experiencing, where I live in Texas, many flowers were wilting from the sun and lack of rain, but those sunflowers I saw in that garden were standing tall. It was a message to me to open myself to light, to allow it to dispel the darkness that had been homesteading with its carpet bag of fear in my spirit.
Sherry: In tough times, the courageous choose to turn their faces to the light. I so admire your warrior spirit, Susie, and Dawn's. We wish her continued health. May she continue to shine like the suflower in your wonderful poem.
Thank you so much, Carrie and Susie, for sharing your poems and thoughts. We admire your courage in walking through your recent challenges, and for being such a source of strength to your families.
Thank you also for your long loyalty to Poets United. We appreciate you!
Wasn't this moving and inspiring, my friends? Do come back and see who we talk to next. Who knows? It might be you!
Susie: I've always loved sunflowers. The simple act of speaking their name opens me to hope and light. With all the heat we'd been experiencing, where I live in Texas, many flowers were wilting from the sun and lack of rain, but those sunflowers I saw in that garden were standing tall. It was a message to me to open myself to light, to allow it to dispel the darkness that had been homesteading with its carpet bag of fear in my spirit.
Sherry: In tough times, the courageous choose to turn their faces to the light. I so admire your warrior spirit, Susie, and Dawn's. We wish her continued health. May she continue to shine like the suflower in your wonderful poem.
Thank you so much, Carrie and Susie, for sharing your poems and thoughts. We admire your courage in walking through your recent challenges, and for being such a source of strength to your families.
Thank you also for your long loyalty to Poets United. We appreciate you!
Wasn't this moving and inspiring, my friends? Do come back and see who we talk to next. Who knows? It might be you!
