I Wish I'd Written This

Brick-Dumb Motherfucker

By Shay Caroline Simmons 

A co-worker, a woman I'd liked quite well up to then

for her quick mind and ready smile,

said, as we were completing a delivery together,

that she thought

lesbians

only went that way because they couldn't get a man.

She said it as an observation

without any rancor

and without any idea who she was talking to. 

Then she looked at me to agree, the way women do.

I thought of my then-girlfriend

and how she knew me like a crow knows its nest.

I thought of her blackbird eyes,

her sure touch and drag race temperament.

"That's not true," I told my co-worker, who remained

unconvinced.

It's death by a thousand cuts, this living on the outside,

but we are warriors--have to be--and we keep on.

Later that day, I read about a transwoman who was murdered

by her boyfriend, who felt

he'd been lied to.

Listen, you brick-dumb motherfucker, I thought,

the woman beat herself up every day,

all her life,

until she found the stupendous guts to live as herself

and living as yourself

is always the stone cold truth.

The next day, some god squad evangelist

told me the bible says how I love is an abomination.

All I know is,

his squeaky clean Sunday jesus

wouldn't last ten minutes--

would be curled up fetal-style in some vestibule by the mailboxes,

sucking his thumb and begging to go home-- 

if he had to live where we live all the time.

I'm not eligible to write exactly this – on account of I'm what's called straight. Which I regard as just as much an accident of birth and genetics as any other orientation. However I am very glad someone wrote this, albeit deploring the fact that it was even necessary.  It is necessary; and that is good cause for rage, sorrow, outrage, and speaking up. 

I sometimes hear of the 'duty' of poets to say thus or so. I don't know that there is any obligation on us to do anything except make the best poems we can as long as we are impelled to do so. And that is a matter of vocation rather than duty. But most of us in this poetic community live in countries where we do have a lot of freedom to say whatever we like in our poems, and I absolutely applaud those who take the opportunity to speak up against injustice, intolerance, cruelty, and all the other evils humanity is prey to. 

Maybe we can help educate the ignorant and prejudiced – including the many unthinking, like the woman in this poem, who had no notion of being nasty or hurtful. She might well be so blind as to need it spelled out to her just how and why her prejudice is very much those things: nasty, and hurtful. It is well spelled out by this brilliant poet, whom I've long admired.

Shay probably needs little introduction to this audience. But if you haven't yet encountered her wonderful writing, she blogs as Fireblossom at Shay's Word Garden. 

She was featured here with a couple of other equally wonderful poets in Sherry's 'POEMS OF THE WEEK ~ BY THREE REAL TOADS on July 13 2015.  

There are even more riches to be found at her blog. As well as lots of excellent poems, she has an article on free verse which I think is a great read, and you can find her books too. (One of them, which I own and adore, is a collaboration with Joy Ann Jones aka Hedgewitch and Kelli Simpson aka Mama Zen – the aforementioned wonderful poets featured with her in Sherry's article. The rest, which I plan to own, are monographs.) 

If you prefer, you can consult Shay's Amazon page and/or her Goodreads page. 

Just read her poetry! It has a wide range of styles and themes, and it never disappoints.

Material shared in 'I Wish I'd Written This' is presented for study and review. Poems, photos and other writings remain the property of the copyright owners, usually their authors.