I Wish I'd Written This

If We Have No Soul

By Natalie Goldberg

If we have no soul

Something aches in us anyway

Heaves our breath

Pumps our blood

Sun thrown across tree tops

Do you see New Mexico?

Wind storms crack across it

Days break against it

I hurt for dry dirt

Big sky

Bell in a tower

Sage across the eye

Burnt land

Old sand carcass

Your rosebuds are hardening

Your leaves turning

My heart burning

This poem appeared in Natalie Goldberg's novel, Banana Rose, as written by the protagonist. So of course it was actually written by the author. I think this protagonist has a lot in common with her author, actually, and this poem has the flavour of other things Goldberg has written about that landscape, such as the poem I Want To Say from the book Top of My Lungs.

I (like most people, I'm sure) first encountered her via her wonderful book for writers, Writing Down the Bones, which was published in 1986. I've owned it since about 1990, when a writer friend visiting America discovered it and was so thrilled with it that she brought back copies for her closest writer pals as well as herself. I return to it again and again, and am always recommending it to people. I even ended up buying a spare copy so I could lend it and still keep it by me.You can find it and her other books on her website. Most of them are also available as ebooks at Amazon. Top of My Lungs was out of print for some time, so I'm delighted to find it on her website too. It's not available as an ebook, but you probably wouldn't want it to be: it includes some of her colourful paintings.

If you haven't yet discovered her books for writers, let me also recommend Wild Mind, the sequel to Writing Down the Bones. The others are good too, and my favourite so far is her most recent, The True Secret of Writing, which is simply beautiful. She always nurtures and sustains me. I am about to start reading her book on writing memoir, Old Friend from Far Away.

Goldberg is a Zen Buddhist, and that influences her writing. 'Make writing your practice,' her teacher told her long ago. That led to her particular approach to writing, which has benefited so many others around the world. She has recounted how, although she was initially acclaimed as a promising new poet, her poetry book didn't take off. So she tried something else, and we're all the richer for her having found her true work in the world. 

I've looked at reviews of her poetry online. They differ. One person finds it sensitive and lovely, another thinks it disappointingly poor. I am still awaiting my copy of Top of My Lungs, but I must say that the two poems I've found online do not disappoint me. I like the sparse but evocative language and the feeling of connection to the land. I like the directness and honesty, the precise yet original imagery. I can see the Zen influence here too — the mindfulness with which she pays attention. What do you think?

Poems and photos used in ‘I Wish I’d Written This’ remain the property of the copyright holders (usually their authors).