I Wish I'd Written This

Money

By Judith Viorst

Once I aspired to

Humble black turtleneck sweaters

And spare unheated rooms

With the Kama Sutra, a few madrigals, and

Great literature and philosophy.

Once I considered money

Something to be against

On the grounds that

Credit cards, 

Installment-plan buying,

And a joint checking account

Could never coexist with

Great literature and philosophy.

Once I believed 

That the only kind of marriage I could respect

Was a spiritual relationship

Between two wonderfully spiritual human beings

Who would never argue about money

Because they would be too busy arguing about

Great literature and philosophy.

I changed my mind,

Having discovered that

Spiritual is hard without the cash

To pay the plumber to unstop the sink

And pay a lady to come clean and iron

So every other Friday I can think about

Great literature and philosophy.

No one ever offers us a choice

Between the Kama Sutra and a yacht.

We're always selling out for diaper service

And other drab necessities that got ignored in

Great literature and philosophy.

A jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou

No longer will suffice. I must confess

My consciousness is frequently expanded

By Diner's Club, American Express, and things undreamed of in

Great Literature and philosophy.

I saw us walking hand in hand through life,

But now it's clear we really need two cars.

I looked with such contempt at power mowers,

And now, alas, that power mower's ours.

It seems I'm always reaching for my charge plates,

When all I'd planned to reach for were the stars,

Great literature and philosophy.

(from It's Hard to be Hip Over Thirty and Other Tragedies of Married Life)

I fell in love with Judith Viorst in 1968 when this book was first published. I wasn't the only one. In 1970 The Australian Women's Weekly published my equal-favourite Viorst poem, 'A Women's Liberation Movement Woman', which was later published in her next book, People and Other Aggravations, in 1973. Of course I bought that book as well. 

It was very unusual for the Weekly to publish any poetry, let alone by a non-Australian. Her poetry became very popular in England too. A reviewer described her work as 'wickedly funny'. I agree. It was topical, of her era, but I trust not too long ago to be well understood.

Only a few years older than me, I think she totally spoke for Western women of my generation — well, the educated, middle class ones anyway. (I majored in English Literature and Philosophy at university, and later experienced suburban wife-and-motherhood ... like so many others. I certainly had the black turtle-necks.)

Of the two poems I was tossing up between, I chose this because I couldn't find it anywhere else online. There are some others — though not enough! — at PoemHunter.

The internet informs me that she is best known for her books for children. She has also written a number of other poetry books which I was unaware of. The (online) blurb from her publisher, Simon and Schuster, says:

Judith Viorst was born and brought up in New Jersey, graduated from Rutgers University, moved to Greenwich Village, and has lived in Washington, D.C., since 1960, when she married Milton Viorst, a political writer. They have three sons and seven grandchildren. Viorst writes in many different areas: science books, children’s picture books, adult fiction and nonfiction, poetry for children and adults, and three musicals, which are still performed on stages around the country. She is best known for her beloved picture book, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.

Wikipedia notes that she is also a journalist and a psychoanalytic researcher.

This talented woman is a prolific writer, and her books (listed at Wikipedia) are available on Amazon.

Poems and photos used in ‘I Wish I’d Written This’ remain the property of the copyright holders (usually their authors).